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Sometimes (and not often) I can’t get it up.

This is an abnormality for me because I’m pretty sure I have the female version of premature ejaculation. (Lucky me?) I’m usually the first to finish and I don’t like to spend a lot of time canoodling? I’m not an after-sex hugger. I’m also very sensitive to touch after sex, meaning I’m kind of a one shot deal who needs a little time to recover just incase some how my body becomes overwhelmed and explodes. (Because thats kind of how it feels)

As a woman, I’m eerily in tune with my biological traits. Especially the bloody ones. Over the years when I have been required to treat depression and anxiety with medication I had a lot of trouble being able to reach climax. It was….frustrating. Sometimes my body would deal me the same issues if I’d been out partying, over tired, or sleep deprived. In the end I would just give up and it would be a stain on my own perception of performance.

But I don’t know what I regard with more disdain. The orgasm that never comes, or the orgasm that flails.

The #flailingorgasm is the one that starts and then dissipates just before the peak, leaving you half finished. Half twisting in pleasure and dismay at your sad underperforming bliss. If you’re afraid of continuing due to the aforementioned possibility of explosion then you aren’t likely to head on in for a second helping. Nope. It’s done for now, and you just be happy with the helping you get…. (selfish really because I think I’m probably an olympic orgamser, and I really shouldn’t complain about the ones that get away)

Maybe he moved away at the wrong time.

Maybe I’m just not feeling it today.

Maybe I’ve got something on my mind.

When this happens it’s like a complete involuntary disconnect between my head, my body and my vagina. They just loose the ability to communicate.

So there it is people. The flailing orgasm. Imagine this as you will, but for me I imagine a clitoris flapping around on the floor with weird tentacle arms all flailing and stuff.

For those of my good friends who have stopped in to read this… I’m sorry if you now know things about me you didn’t want to, I’ll buy you a cupcake and a shot of tequila and we can get through this together.



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