Pursuing Happiness in BDSM

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Earlier this year I shared a writing about my troubles with gratitude journalling “What Makes You Happy“, which I’ve been reflecting on a lot as of late. I’ve been thinking about how much has changed since I wrote that piece, even though is the grand scheme of things it wasn’t that long ago. Over the last year I’ve been questioning and scrutinising over the details of my life, self perceptions and delving into the dark places to get some clarity in my story. A lot of this over analysing has flooded over into my relationship and it’s structure of power exchange.

Why BDSM?

What do I get out of it?

Does it make me happy?

BDSM is a choice that we both made, that articulated what we value and expect from our relationship. Aside from the fact that we both enjoy kink, fetish and physical forms of play, protocol and ritual, it was really of interest to us as a way of expressing an active interest in our relationship. Having BDSM in our life and relationship, here means we make a regular effort to communicate, discuss and explore in things that genuinely interest and excite us. We might do this in the privacy of our own home or within the Perth BDSM Community but it’s always a constant point of interaction for us privately and socially.

Being connected with our relationship this way keeps us accountable to each other. It’s not exactly easy to ignore each other, or neglect expectations when communicating and checking in with each other emotionally and physically are a big part of the foundation we have solidified. Though we might not always get to do physical impact play, or kink activity as much as we would like (every day isn’t asking too much right?), we generally talk regularly about styles, techniques, toys, events and articles that are of interest.

Before we made the choice to engage in a power exchange relationship I was the epitome of a blundering, emotional, high strung, bossy housewife. Realistically (and possibly childishly), all I wanted was his attention. It was easy to feel ignored and drowned out by the hustle and bustle or the daily grind. Engaging in BDSM helps create mindful action and focus for us to connect. While I’m sure some of my female counterparts would scoff at my submissive position to my husband, I only see how it has positively affected and improved what we once felt was missing.

All of my needs are met within this relationship. I get confidence, challenge, passion and support in all facets of my life because of the space we create through having a power exchange relationship. It makes me enormously happy and blessed. BDSM makes me happy because of what it brings into my life, through meeting amazingly wonderful, talented and open minded people. Each and every one enriching and bringing a new perspective to enjoy.

I pursue happiness in BDSM as submissive to my husband and as a woman embracing all that I find sensual, kinky and perfectly expressive of my brand of sexuality.

 

 

 

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