In last few years I have not had the motivation to do a lot of painting. I was busy working 5 nights a week doing long hours and with a little toddler still running around the house most of my art stuff got packed away in fear that I’d end up with it smeared all over the house. (I learned this the hard way when the twins were little ones.) I dreaded the idea of getting it out and setting it up, so for a long time I put off doing it at all.
Years ago remember how I loved nothing more than having my own dedicated space where I could retreat into my own little world. Sometimes, I would enjoy a glass of wine and spend hours lost and fixated in mixing and painting, playing and imagining. I didn’t realise how much I had been missing it until the other day when I cleared a work space, set up my easel and prepared a splendid selection of colours to play with. I got stuck in this meditative state, listening to my music and experimenting with things I had feared I’m might forgotten. Like riding a bike they say, it was actually incredibly easy to find my zen in working the process of painting. Makes me wonder why on earth I would have let it go so long without letting myself have that space to connect with this side of my creativity.
It’s too easy for us to get busy in our lives and forget the things we enjoy or push them aside for tending to our perceived ideals about responsibility and adulthood. As a creative person, I have struggled with feeling like I needed to justify time (or money) spent on artistic pursuits, which has been a key obstacle in holding me back from myself. I’ve let go of a lot of that fear and self doubt over the last year which has bought me closer and happier to all the things in life I truly enjoy.
I’d imagined a work a few weeks ago working with butterflies so had started researching and sketching some concepts for my idea. I’m not really a big fan of cliches, and have never really been drawn to the butterfly, so it was only a bit of a surprise when this came up for me. Cliche as it is, self transformation has been a big part of my journey this year with changing my name, self development and branching out into the things I love.
I’m extremely excited to have found the passion to be painting again and hopefully will share and update here as I go.