Curfews, Bedtimes and other Nonsense Rules…

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Source: How do rules affect your mindset?

Perfect timing as I stumbled across this question about how rules affect the submissive mindset, I’d been pondering the last few weeks myself.

We don’t really have a lot of rules. I like to joke it’s because I’m perfect and always behave so well that I don’t need any! (What a laugh, right?) But then about 3 weeks ago, M announces that he has decided to enforce computer curfew.

That probably doesn’t seem like a big deal. People in power exchange dynamics have rules and transference of authority and expectations…. even bedtime rules. My mind did backflips in heavy resistance. Heavy resistance. I was absolutely dumbfounded (and a little excited) that he’s out of the blue enforcing a rule, especially something as silly as cutting off my computer time. At first I thought he was just kidding, but he’s not usually that funny.

Even though I haven’t been ruled by rules in my power exchange dynamic, does not mean that I am not expected to do things, have protocols etc, I just don’t think I ever really viewed them as being rules. They are just the things I don’t do. For example: Don’t get drunk and come home and make a racket trying to get your key in the door. I wouldn’t call it a rule per say, but I know for sure if I do that, there will be zero sympathy while I’m vomiting a hangover the next day. (Also I’ve got bucklies trying to get out the house again for quite some time.)  

Having a rule which forces me to regulate and discipline my computer time is a real bitch. I hate that I love it so much and he gets to gloat over me. What has made it more traumatising is that the first week the curfew was 10:30pm, 2nd week was 10pm and the third he moved it to 9pm. What the actual fuck?

But I realised something extremely annoying about this rule. It helps me. Yes, that’s right. It helps me. (You can imagine me saying that last part in a childish grimace if you like, because I totally said it that way in my head, and possibly out loud to him when he asked me how I was going…assbutt) 

I have found that having a cut of time from my computer forces me to slow down and stop working. Without regulating how I manage my time, I don’t manage my time. I do all the things, all the time until I pass out. Writing, work, editing, studying, assignments, graphic projects, a hell of a lot of what I do is on my computer. I just don’t usually stop, or I am multitasking so much when I have nothing to do I can’t sit still.

So it strikes me very frustrated to have to admit that since I have been abiding his “rule”, I have been:

  • getting more sleep
  • out putting work at a fast rate
  • spending time in nature
  • having more conversations with him
  • snuggling everyone more
  • not being a grumpy bitch

I’m also frustrated because him putting in this kind of active dominance kind of makes me want to jump him, in a sexy way.

 

 

2 Replies to “Curfews, Bedtimes and other Nonsense Rules…”

  1. I adore this. Besides it being extremely well written and entertaining to read, it’s infinitely relatable. Sometimes the hardest rules to get used to are the ones that help us the most.

    I do have to say that your internal voice, the one who says things like assbutt, sounds a lot like mine. 😄💕✌

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