Why My Submission has Layers

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Roadmap to submission

Layers and Layers of submission here.

I don’t know if I can remember all the things I said I’d never do, never feel or ever ever be, but I know there is quite a few of them. My submission is made up of many layers which have made leaps and bounds as well as brutal plummeting drives. The last few months have really tested me as I journeyed to work on self empowerment and confidence. One of the misnomers about power exchange relationships that I know I got force fed by other people, blogs, forums and opinions is that s-types need to be sheltered, restricted and placed inside some form of isolation chamber until they were wonderfully obedient.

Yep, that’s right it’s a misnomer. It stood out for me instantly that M’s approach in life was different to anybody I have ever known. In relationships where I was used to having controlling partners, friends or family members he was not so obvious about those things. In truth, he is not domineering he is dominant. M is impossible in wavering from his methods, or at least giving me a handbook to understand them, but what I do know is that they work.

My submission is rich, with many facets, character, intelligence and wit to boot! It is that way because I have never really had much restriction or sheltering from experiencing life as I have been inspired to. I guess what I am trying to say is that he isn’t insecure about me experiencing life. The thought of me growing and developing has never made him worried that I would grow to big and burst the ceiling. (If anything I have been insecure to grow and he has methodically found ways to “make” me) 

After 8 years, I have evolved into submission from being a whirlwind, highly emotional and sometimes irrational young lady (and I still have a lot of spunk). M has fostered a lot of patience and long term investment as have I into our relationship. I went into my study of BDSM shouting black and blue that I would never be a slave, or want to be. I had a long list of “never” that gets smaller every year and by the same token my understanding of how submission works for me, gets deeper. I go deeper, delving in to the sometimes fantastically dark places to come out with new and exciting perspectives.


One Reply to “Why My Submission has Layers”

  1. Shelter shmelter. 😄 That’s for the birds, unless you’re someone who just happens to need it for some reason. (Not you you, just you anybody.)

    Personally, I would get bored of things were to stagnate and always be the same same same year after year. I’ve been deep into total slave mindset, and other times a playful girl. I’ve been poly and strictly monogamous. I’ve been (always) submissive, but gave myself permission to learn my Dominant side even (though it wasn’t my choice, I grew to embrace it authentically and miss it sometimes.) I give myself room to grow and change and experience all that life has to offer, and anyone who truly loves me, as a human being and not a commodity, will want to see that growth as much as I do. By the same token, I don’t expect my partner to be a static being, always wanting the same level and intensity of interaction.

    This stuff is fun (supposed to be) and if we are so restricted in our exploration that we never break out of molds or preconceived expectations or notions then we’re missing a big part of the experience of life.

    Anyone who doesn’t want to peel layers, and add new ones for themselves and their partners is a little too one dimensional for my taste. (even if a routine is set and stays mostly the same for long periods of time, eventually it will get old or something will spark new interests… that’s part of this journey of life)

    Congratulations to you and yours for being explorers! That’s fun fun stuff. 💕✌ Thanks for sharing this!

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